We live in a society where we are desensitized to how we come across to people.
The gift of words can as compelling as a gift or be like a knife, without you even knowing. I submit that everyone walking this earth has dealt with some difficult times in their life.
When you speak to a friend, family member or casual acquaintance, you will never know what may uplift their day or upset them, or trigger them into an old wound. We also have no common language to express our pain and hurt to each other in a socially acceptable, friendly way.
Yes, there are many techniques you can learn, and, how many people will learn the same techniques you do, so that when there is a sticky situation, you both are on the same page?
This situation is one of the places that keep us separated from each other. To me, it has become intolerable and I am looking for a solution – a common way to express when things go awry in a relationship.
In my experience when there is a conflict the old way or typical reaction is for people to run away from each other, take their love and presence away or damage each other further by using more words that wound. Just hearing someone you love or care about say ‘I don’t want to talk about this’ is so hurtful.
So I am looking for the solution within me. Investigating. Asking my divine to help me ‘see’ clearly and understand my own responsibility to my communication. Where have I hurt others with my words? What have I done to others that hurt them so much they could not talk to me anymore? What have I said that touched an old wound and kept people from relating to me any longer?
The answers come and I change, regularly. Life gives me lots of practice.
When a conflict comes up I look to see how authentic I can be towards myself first. It seems to be working because there are less conflicts between me and others. And the interesting thing is, I notice more happy people around me rather than people in conflict. This slows my reaction and my responses. I'm noticing more. I find that my responses become more loving towards others, because I am checking to see what I need first (which is a loving act towards myself).
Sacred living is the vision that motivates me in life. Within it’s very nature are keys to keeping love present. The question is, when will we all have the same goals – to keep relationships honest, authentic, vulnerable and real and deepening to a place where love exists even when there is a wound? What do you say?