There is a nagging feeling, deep down inside me that infiltrates my being. It feels very uncomfortable to my body. When this happens my mind tries to identify what is happening for me. It is me feeling the disconnection from Source.
There are many terms for source and as I am writing this piece, the definition of source I am giving is with a capital S, as in the only connection I need to survive in this world as a spiritual being having a human experience, as well as a human being having a spiritual experience.
The Source of my living, breathing, and being, the only reason I have for breath, the way I utilize myself as a re-Source of Source is to thrive within this connection.
As I motivate my day through this connection, I am truly ONE with all. And . . . I am interested in being part of a collective of human beings that have mounds of information that can lead you this way or that. Staying on your own personal track or taking you off your track, it’s always your choice.
Today I would like to connect Source with Evil. Being an avid movie fan, I’ve seen so many good vs evil movies about evil taking over the world and knowing there was some truth to the corruption that is told in story after action story. Hollywood tells it like it is and I was convinced of that when I saw The Matrix just after I was awakened from falling off a 50-foot cliff. That we are controlled beyond our conscious desires and led to invent even more desires for others to follow, by our controlling those who are interested in hearing our voice. Yes, that means we do it too. We are taught to follow this pattern to gain acceptance in society. And, that is not the only way.
What’s become clear, is nagging at my being, the biggest fear against evil and those who feel it is so important to control human nature are happening right now and being caught! So while movies, scripts, directors, and actors have played their part very well and even won awards for their efforts and achievements, we the people are still doing our level best to make it in this world within this context of corruption underpinning our society.
I have been wondering for many years why these movies are made. Are they to warn us that that underlining feeling is true and that we must do something different to create the world in which we choose to live? To find your voice, and allow yourself to express your authentic soul self through your source of connection can be daunting. It takes hours and hours of deep personal connection with your Source to find those internal answers that are truly YOURS.
I’ve written one book boldly expressing how the body can self-heal when you have this connection in place. This book has helped a few people, to see the light, if you will. However, this is not about me. This writing is about our collective.
Should we have banded together even stronger than the 'flash mobs’ or the ‘everyone matters’ or so many other similar gatherings that seemed only to make a small momentary difference? Even though there were some with over a million presenting themselves as in the ‘million man march’ or years later the ‘million woman march’ which brought over a million women together not only on the White House lawn but thousands of others in local communities around the world. Did our equality change? Did we get more freedom from these expressions? No, we missed the mark. It’s way more than being noticed and banned together. It’s changing laws and legislation so that our very own government follows the Constitution. We are taught to follow it, and, the powers that ‘be’ – don’t. This is the underlining feeling we are trying so hard to express. We are still being controlled by our banks, institutions, and contracts that we cannot read to understand how they follow the Constitution and then feel, once signed and agreed to, like we are going to be ‘found out’ and ‘caught’ about something we did or didn’t do that was against the law or someone. What about the guilt we feel just by being alive and NOT making a difference in our human experience?
For me, I feel helpless and guilty when people are making pleas for me to join their organization or band together to make a point in their essay on life. I want to join because I believe in their human expression, and, I know it isn’t my calling.
My calling seems to continue to be following Source. I have to ask the deeper questions of why I’m alive at this particular time in history, the end of the dark ages. At first, when my teacher taught me this, I felt privileged, like God was calling me to finally accept the position I was born to secure in this human experience. I followed this calling through many trials and tribulations of my own personal life to finally feel like I’ve triumphed over the human experience and can hold a space that is more filled with light than fixing problems or continuing to look for solutions to age-old problems of humanity. Not complete, but acceptance.
So, now what, I ask my guidance. People come into my life to learn from me, this I know. And as I learn from each one, they seem to have their fixations on changing the entire world and humanity by giving credence to the problem of fixing the evil in this world.
Remember I said we are at the end of the dark ages? This is key to this writing. The dark ages bring us the most difficult time in the history of human beings. The worst inhumanities to man that can be imagined and are certainly prevalent at this time. At the same time, you have religious speakers talking about ridding us of evil and the evils within us. We’ve all heard of the corruption within the banking system, the war on drugs, selling and trafficking children, and even drinking the adrenochrome from a fearful child that is being abused . . . the worst kind of inhumanity I can even know of, breaks my heart and soul into a million pieces.
Knowing this is hard to recover from, emotionally. And this year has shown these pieces of evil in our collective humanity to be real, that is, to be caught and criminalized and brought to our attention so we can all see them, expose them and their ills, and finally have vindication about this horrible mess. Will this change our world? I’m praying that it does, drastically. And, that we can stand for our right to follow the Constitution to the letter from here on.
It is so difficult for a sensitive like me to recover from watching videos exposing the ills we have been closing our eyes to for so many years. It is so enormous of a task to keep regaining my internal strength to keep Source at my side and within me stronger than ever. And, as I look back on my life, as I mentioned above, championing my trials during my spiritual growth has made me strong. So when I see, feel, and hear of such evil doings in our world, I must remember – this is the time we are moving through to live in full harmony with our light and bond together with others who have more light.
How we remedy this for ourselves is our own choice. As my teacher says, there are 7 billion people in this world and 7 billion ways to awaken. It’s your choice given by your experiences in life to bring you to your enlightenment.
The voice I’ve accepted as my path and honored guidance is Source. As direct as it can be, I listen intently all day long as to what I’m to do, say, and how to be in this difficult time. Anytime I feel taken off my path by wondering what I should, could, or need to do about a situation, even when I ask myself if I’m turning away from a needed situation to avoid something, I will see it and bring my light of Source to that question and the answer and honor my connection will be shown to me very clearly. This is not easy, but it builds my internal strength and conviction to what I believe in, my source is Source and I am re-Source.
It’s what I’ve been through already that has shown me I can do this. Will this lead me to my enlightenment? I do not know, that is for Source to show me as I move through each day. And, going through this most difficult time keeps building the internal strength that Source has been asking of us all our lives. We can do this – together and with the love of ourselves and each other. There are no more questions about whether to trust what I’m getting, the outcomes are clear, my life is easy sometimes and sometimes not so much, fulfilled and flowing on the right path as long as I’m connected and listen to my Source.
So, no matter what your direction or needs are, making the connection to your trust, faith, and honesty will keep you on the right path. Listening and trusting that your connection is ‘right’ for you, is the one way to learn through every life experience you will be taken into. Trust that, love yourself, and be kind and respectful to others who have chosen their path as well, which might be different than yours.
God bless us all.